A mad old satirical news site from the dawn of the Internet archived for posterity

Drink from the
furry cup

All the news without the kumquats

Editors

  • ChilliBear
  • Hungry Caterpillar
  • Sean the Irish Bastard
  • Spunk-Monkey
  • Winnie the Poo
  • Hoffin' Bigman
  • Helter-Skelter
  • Niloc
  • Saunders
  • Dai Laffin
  • Digger

Quintessential Quote

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished

Pick of the Best

Past Poll

Are you ignorant or apathetic?

  • I don't know
  • I don't care

Longest Ever Pregnancy Ends After 257 Months

Written by: Sean the Irish Bastard Published on: 04 Feb 2000

Late last night a woman from Fort Worth, Texas finally gave birth after a record breaking pregnancy of 21 years and 5 months. At 23.56 EST, Mrs Carol Hole, 48 finally gave up the son she has been gestating since late August of 1978. The son weighed in at 184lb 5oz, and when slapped by Dr. Montgomery White said “For f☣☣☣’s sake, quit it!” and slapped him back.

Dr White, 52 had been following and documenting Mrs. Hole’s pregnancy since the beginning, with the aid of some remarkable photographs at every stage from conception to birth. It is believed that the extra-ordinary length of pregnancy was caused by a combination of experimental IGF treatment and some “really weird shit” Mrs Hole took at a Grateful Dead concert. The remarkable picture below shows the home birth as captured by Dr. White, who has been lodging with the Hole family since last September when Carol first went into labour.


The Hole’s new son, Peter, was actually named in 1983, a name which he had personally approved from within the womb. Peter had communicated from within with a series of lights kicks, and it is believed than he picked up english at a normal rate, and hadbeen waiting to talk to his parents since early 1981. Proud father Alan, 50 said “We’re so proud of him”.

Before retiring to bed for the first time, Peter announced his plans to write an autobiography tentatively called “My life in a Uterus”.

Yeah you guessed it the majority of this site is copyrighted to us, © 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 all the way up to 2014 so please don't pinch it. Obviously this is all in good humour if you don't think so then you don't have "good humour". This is of course only a sarcastic sceptical FICTITIOUS (yes thats right it's not real! - It's actually made up! - Welcome to the world of satire), view on life the universe and everyone in the public light... hey it's all supposed to be good fun... honest :)