ITV’s popular morning chat show was today revealed to be actually real. The shock news came at a news conference held by one Miss X. a runner for the top rated show.
Miss X, whose name cannot be revealed due to lack of imagination, revealed that the parade of insipid and socially inept individuals on the show every morning are in fact genuine people who of their own free will walk in off the streets of this country un-guarded and without hindrance. Miss X said, “I know it sounds unlikely but they don’t just make this shit up. These are real people. Not actors like on Jerry Springer”.
Amongst the many parties up in arms about these allegations was the ITC. Who later commented, via a spokesperson: “We are taking these claims very seriously and we are distressed that people could take advantage of any television program in such a way. It seems unlikely that these people, many of whom seem to be genuinely intellectually deficient, could be real, but we must look into these claims as we look into all claims”.
The “Trisha” show, hosted by some dozy bird, shot to the top of the ratings when it began airing six months ago. At that time it was assumed that the insane losers and wasters must all be actors as no self respecting country would allow people to be shown on television daily before 9pm, let alone be allowed to propagate back into society. However Miss X’s evidence apparently indicates otherwise.
She commented, “There was this bloke, right? And he beat his wife up and she was saying she still loved him, then there were these people with buckteeth and acne that wanted to be strippers and a bloke with three heads. I met them all and they turned out to be actual people. They weren’t pretending…. except the bloke with three heads. He was just stupid.”
This shock revelation comes hot on the heels of the erm…revelation that many of the guests on the popular American show, “Jerry Springer” had been paid to fake fights and in many cases had been actors. The ITC commented that this was “perfectly acceptable” and that “People expect this kind of behaviour, after all they have been doing it on CNN for years”.